REVIEW BY JADE BREEN
EDITED BY CHARLOTTE FRASER
We’ve all felt it.
The stomach dropping, cheek warming, goosebump giving embrace of a crush.
Perhaps it was a coworker, or a stranger on the street. Maybe it was a little closer to home, a best friend, a classic forbidden love. Whoever it was, however it may have festered, the vulnerable act of yearning is a universal one, an experience that begs the question: how far would you go for a crush?
Written and directed by Alice Schlipalius and co-directed and produced by Penelope Gordon, CONFESSIONAL is the ultimate antidote for a crush, relishing in the creepy, the cringeworthy and the all too familiar anguish of falling in love. Captured in sketch style vignettes, the play follows an ensemble of young people as they navigate the minefield of infatuation.
Georgie, played by Luna Vasquez, has fallen hard for her coworker. So deeply that she can look past the fact that he hooked up with another girl and focus on her embroidery project for him instead. Sister Catherine, played by Summer Rule, has been having blasphemous dreams about erotic encounters with God, dreams that unfortunately seem to end right before her own climax. Madi, played by Lucy Nunn, seems to suffer the worst fate of them all. She conceals an unrequited crush on her childhood best friend; a secret made all the worse by the jealousy she feels knowing her friend is happy and in love with another. Interspersed in these central narratives are delightful moments of verbatim theatre – the deepest darkest secrets confessed by audience members throughout the play’s extensive season read out loud. Gumboot Theatre’s approach to audience participation is impressive, and the anonymous nature of the real confessions added a brilliant layer of vulnerability and honesty to the work. At one moment I watched another audience member sink a little lower in their seat, cringing as their own thoughts were read out on stage.
Falling in love is tumultuous and unpredictable, and the quick snappy scenes really complimented this feeling. The ensemble nature of the play lends itself well to the pacing; anecdotes performed by Chloe Mcshane, Rosalili Ford, and Alex Fimeri acting as seamless transitions between the main action. Each performer connected with the audience with such ease, allowing these moments to feel conversational and familiar, almost as if we were being confided in as close friends.
CONFESSIONAL confronts the very fibers of what makes a good person, the morally ambiguous choices of each character making up the bulk of the conflict. Be it the innocent yet self-destructive act of embroidering a sweater, or the more dangerous moments of manipulation and secrecy, the play questions if we can be judged for the extreme lengths we go to get what we want. One such extremity sees Madi’s love for her friend take a dark turn when a jealousy-fueled decision sends her friend’s partner into psychiatric care. The heightened emotional climax in this particular moment seemed somewhat unearned, a dark tonal shift aiming to confront the audience with the consequences of desire. While this climax helped to round out one of the story’s central plotlines, I felt the piece could have trusted its audience slightly more, not giving us all the answers and instead letting us stew on the moral implications of unrequited passion.
Despite this, the story crafts an intricate web of solidarity between the characters and their awkward encounters, and I appreciated getting snapshots of the many different expressions and experiences of love.
As someone currently grappling with their own painful infatuation, I came into this work terrified of what I might discover about myself. The audience is placed in such an interesting position; I found I was giggling in delight one moment and gasping in horror the next, a constant oscillation between resonance and judgement. Having a crush can suck. The act of being so completely consumed by another person to the point of insanity is a brutal experience, but to see some of my own naive and miscalculated choices represented on stage was a comfort. Schlipalius’ writing does not shy away from the deep, embarrassing recesses of human actions, instead it carves out a space where want and desire (no matter how obscure) are a universal and accepted part of our collective experience.
CONFESSIONAL is a wonderful addition to the Comedy Festival line up, a portrait of lust, love and everything in between. You’ll squirm, you’ll squeal, but most importantly you’ll leave with a little less nausea towards your own questionable choices. Perhaps you’ll even be brave enough to take your own crush out on a highly targeted theatre date…
CONFESSIONAL was presented by Gumboot Theatre Company at the Motley Wherehaus 6 – 19 of April as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
JADE BREEN is a young playwright and theatre practitioner based on Boonwurrung and Wurundjeri country. A proud advocate for diverse and intersectional storytelling, Jade is excited by work that encourages resistance, change and a celebration of identity.
CHARLOTTE FRASER (she/her) is a writer, performer and student editor based in Melbourne. She holds a BA in English and Theatre Studies and is currently completing her Masters degree at the University of Melbourne. Charlotte is also the 2026 Dialog Editor.
The Dialog is supported by Union House Theatre.
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